MINDANAO (28 July) — The State of the Nation Address (SONA) can be a long and winding read of accomplishments, boasting and catchphrases. But who remembers them?
President Bongbong Marcos’ (PBBM’s) third SONA last July 22 was a bit like that. So, we try to break it down with ABC what the SONA missed out and should have been for you and me.
SOAA. So, Ano nA?
SOBA. State of the Baha Address. Imagine two days after SONA, BBM did not see the outpouring of praises he expected, but instead a downpour of rain engulfed Metro Manila. All those words washed out.
SOBA is also the State of the Baynte Pesos Address. Yes, rice is now twenty pesos – extra rice sa karinderya.
SOCA. State of Climate Address. Dry season became extreme with El Niño early this year followed by the wet season coming in torrents. Imagine having this swing of wet and dry in a matter of months. Only the storm of the Dutertes and the Marcoses could match that intensity.
SODA. State of Dutertes Address. They snubbed the SONA, pero asa sila? Asa ang rally? DDS were left waiting for … nothing. VP Sara shut herself off from the media and flew to Bohol. Tatay D only made a statement to react to that video allegedly that the president was sniffing something. Fans would have been more excited if he appeared on a video. There was a gathering of Maisug followers in faraway LA. Shouldn’t they hate the US of A like their Tatay D? Whatever, the State of Dutertes did not excite the public at all.
SOEA. State of Education Address. A new secretary that will not just tear down visual materials in classrooms or fail to read reports from undersecretaries. Teaching allowances are added. Salaries will be updated. Nice. But what about the basics of teaching kids how to read and count?
SOFA. State of the Farms Address. Any plans to help the farmers, whoever is left of them untouched by the Villars, is not mentioned in the SONA.
SOGA. State of Gasolina Address. To the tune of that Latino hip-hop song: “Mahal gihapon gasolina”
SOHA. State of Health Address. Bawal gihapon magkasakit. Philhealth is expanding? Expanding whose pockets?
SOIA. State of Infra Address. Plenty of promises to build roads, bridges, railways, but back to basics unta. What about housing for the poor? What about fixing collapsed roads courtesy of Build, Build, Build.
SOJA. State of Jeepneys Address. Cue Juan dela Cruz’s anthem. Phaseout, high fuel costs, traffic, “ang buhay ng tsuper ay ‘di gawaing biro.”
SOKA. State of Kilo Address. The real state of the nation address: Walay bugas nga baynte pesos ang kilo.
SOKA is also State of the Kadiwa Address. Kadiwa Stores Marcos Sr. time and Kadiwa Stores Marcos Jr. time. Nakakita na ba kag’g Kadiwa Stores sa inyong dapit o mamelete pa mo para makaadtog Kadiwa ?
SOLA. State of the Left Address. Rallies in Manila, Cebu and Davao. They’re still much around, no issue or marginalized is left behind in their fervent call for protest and change.
SOLA is also State of Louise aka Liza Araneta-Marcos Address. Did she drink champagne again like a camel?
SOMA. State of Maharlika Funds Address. Meron o Wala?
SONA. State of NOW Na Address. Enough talk, pag lihok NOW NA.
SOOA. State of Olympians Address. So glad BBM mentioned our 26 athletes bound for the Paris Olympics. Go for Glory. Puso!
SOPA. State of POGO Address. Finally, something to cheer about. The Alice Guo drama ends with a satisfying conclusion. But who is the real Alice Guo anyway?
SOPA is also State of Peace Address. Bangsamoro peace is here. But what about peace with Reds?
SOPA is State of the Police Address. So many police chiefs in Davao City in three months. Wait, there’s still more?
SOPA is State of Polboron Address. Nope nothing to sniff here.
SOQA. State of Quiboloy Address. PNP, NBI should confirm if Quiboloy has transformed into an astral state that’s why he can’t be found.
SORA. State of Romualdez Address. The Speaker is high in praises and visibility, but can’t say the same about his survey ratings.
SOSA. State of Sweldo Address. Check our wallets, our ATMs. If the money is gone immediately after you receive it because of the high cost of living, kulang gihapon ang dagdag sahod.
SOSA is also State of the Sana Address. Sanaol.
SOTA. State of Traffic Address. Not like the president, or sometime ago the VP, we don’t have a helicopter to bring us to our homes or to a concert.
SOUA. State of the USA. Exit China, enter United States via VFA.
SOUA. State of Underwater. That’s Metro Manila and Rizal right now.
SOVA. State of VP Address. No broadcast ‘coz she’s offline. To quote her trademark statement: “No comment.”
SOWA. State of West Philippine Seas Address. Atin ang Pinas. Next to phasing out POGO, that line is the most cheered about in BBM’s SONA. POGO, WPS, anything about China’s intrusion is an issue worth rallying around. Salamat Alice Guo and the Chinese Coast Guard, and those senators who wore Atin ang WPS shirts who make me feel patriotic.
SOXA. State of X (formerly Twitter) Address. SONA was not the top trending news on Twitter/X on July 22. K-Pop group 2Ne1 was # 1 that day. Maybe we should elect Dara “Krung Krung” Park for President in ’28.
SOYA. State of New York Address. The First Lady still feels she is very New York.
SOZA. Zzzzz. Sometimes the promises in a SONA sound like a dream rather than doables. Off to dreamland we go to dream the impossible.
(Mind Da Noise is a column by jaded Mindanawon observers).