DAVAO CITY (MindaNews / 21 July) — I’ve always told myself that I would never work in the media, especially journalism. I dismissed the idea, saying that the tasks were exhausting and soul-sucking. But in truth, it wasn’t the workload or the fast-paced, consecutive deadlines I wanted to avoid. It was writing.
I feared writing.
Unlike most of my peers in my major, BA in Communication and Media Arts, I found writing a dreadful task. The mere thought of it made my heart pound, and not in a good way. One might wonder how I managed to reach junior year when Communication students have never-ending papers. Well, I’m just as curious as you are.
My writing anxiety is deeply rooted in my insecurity. I constantly battled thoughts of being unable to measure up to the standards of others and not being good enough to be a writer.
It was so bad that I would stare at a blank Google Docs page for hours, shaking my leg, thinking about what to write and how to begin. Sometimes, it would even take me days just to craft a 500-word reaction paper.
Then came our internship period.
Thoughts of avoiding any media outlet repeatedly crossed my mind, but circumstances led me to MindaNews. Despite my reservations, I grabbed the opportunity, and little did I know this would be a big step in overcoming my longstanding fear.
The first week of my internship was filled with familiar tasks—just post-production work that I usually do in school. I was relieved that we only had to do those tasks and no writing was involved.
But soon, I faced my real challenge: a press conference write-up. I was so anxious that I had only two or even fewer hours of sleep the night before.
After the press conference, I had to craft a story in an hour to reach the 3 p.m. deadline. I had to adapt to the time constraints even though I usually take hours to write.
I was not satisfied with my output. I admit that my first byline in MindaNews was sloppy, and I knew I had to make up for it in my next stories.
Following this was one of my notable assignments, the Masara coverage. We were deployed to Maco, Davao de Oro, to check on what has happened to the Masara landslide victims six months ago.
It was my first out-of-town coverage and my first time visiting a resettlement site. We interviewed the residents of the camps and asked how they were faring since the landslide.
After leaving the site, we had to craft our stories in a moving vehicle as we traveled back to Davao City. My story draft was not published until the next day due to its initial inadequacies.
I was so used to feeding facts that I overlooked the most important part of writing: storytelling. The editors taught us to paint a picture and take the readers to the actual scenario.
Applying that insight, I saw an improvement in my next write-up about one of the three families left in a camp in Barangay Elizalde in Maco. Thankfully, that feature story required minimal editing, and seeing their story published through my words felt rewarding.
Beyond that, I was glad to see that I overcame a personal hurdle. From a blank page, I gradually learned how to fill it up with my voice.
More than learning how to add a few descriptives to my writing, I learned to embrace criticism and adapt quickly. I learned how to get to know people. I learned how to tell their stories. And most importantly, I learned to step out of my comfort zone.
I still fear writing. Even now, as I write this piece, my palms are sweating. But at the very least, I took the initiative to confront that fear and strive for improvement.
Our supervisor would always say to Alyssa (my internship buddy) and me, “Kung makaya ni ninyo, kaya na ninyo lampasan tanan.” (If you can do this, you can overcome everything.) Well, I’d like to think so too.
And dare I say, my MindaNews internship is my bravest act yet and a testament to the first step of my growth.
Ultimately, my internship experience is a personal triumph. It taught me that growth is not meant to be comfortable. I realized that fear and growth come together, and often, you have to do things scared. Once you do, you will realize how rewarding it is. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
(Batang Mindanaw is the youth section of MindaNews. Kylene Faith Andales, 21, is from Davao City. She is a third year BA Communication and Media Arts student at the University of the Philippines Mindanao)